About a month ago, I had the opportunity to engage in my first extended period of mindfulness, a 6-day meditation retreat. Due to COVID, I chose an on-line option and moved into the guest quarters to simulate the residential experience. It worked quite well.

I’d read a couple of accounts of first-time retreat participants that foretold of the difficulties of transitioning from Type A style living to sustained stillness for days on end. I was also aware of the requirement to maintain noble silence during retreat – a feat not easy for this chatty extrovert. But I knew I’d figure out how to make the adjustments.

Here’s the schedule we followed during retreat:

It turned out that noble silence wasn’t all that difficult for me. In fact, I rather enjoyed the quiet. The extended periods of silent meditation proved more challenging. As one who is relatively new to the art of quieting the mind, it was effortful to try and keep my mind focused on the present moment. I’d use an object of attention – e.g., the breath, body scan, foot placement, sound – but would find my focus drifting again and again and again. Early in the day, I’d catch myself readily and return to the object of attention. As I grew fatigued, I’d experience quite a lapse in attention before I’d take note of it and reset to the present moment. Fortunately, I did not grow anxious or frustrated in the process. I just stayed with the practice.

I discovered that thoughts are my most frequent attention grabbers with a tendency toward planning or imagining something in the future. That experience tracks with a lifetime of goal setting and investing time and energy toward the realization of a future state. I’ve definitely experienced extended periods of flow where I’m completely absorbed in the work that I doing. That being said, I rarely just sit and take in the sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and feel of the moment as it presents itself. My idle mind usually starts planning.

What strikes me about this future orientation is that I never really arrive and enjoy. Once I’ve reached a milestone or destination, I get busy contemplating the next one. Life coaches and productivity gurus may applaud this tendency and point to all that could be accomplished with that life strategy. I think it robs one of the experience of living.

I’m not planning on becoming a slacker. I still like to set goals and explore new horizons. But I plan to be mindful of all the moments big and small that show up along the way.