When Rational Decision-Making Isn’t Rational

I like to think of myself as a rational decision maker. I define the scope of a given problem and the desired outcomes. I examine the available options and delineate the pros and cons. I weigh the options and then make the optimal choice. But I had my eyes opened years ago when my husband and I attended a seminar entitled The Emotional Side of Decision Making by the Stanford Business School’s Baba Shiv.

At the time, the prevailing wisdom on decision-making accounted for two factors: the hard data (e.g., size, style, price, performance) and “soft” factors (e.g., personal preferences, perceived status, one’s emotional state at the time). But Dr. Shiv’s research revealed that emotions are a separate – and crucial – element in decision making. In particular, at some point in the decision-making process, folks make emotional commitments to their choices. Thereafter, all further input runs through filters that support these subconsciously rendered “emotional decisions.” And this mechanism holds true for men and women.

While eye-opening, this phenomenon makes sense when we consider that the brain is fundamentally wired for keeping us alive. If we’re being chased by a wild beast intent on making us its dinner, we don’t want to spend a lot of time deliberating on the optimal path when arriving at a fork in the road. We want to commit and fully invest in the chosen direction.

Dr. Shiv also demonstrated that we make these “emotional decisions” relatively quickly. As a case in point, researchers took a close look at student evaluations of college-level courses. Such evaluations are routinely administered at the conclusion of the semester. But researchers decided to take a preliminary read on student satisfaction after one lecture, after 10 minutes of one lecture, and after a 10-minute video in which the volume was muted. It turned out that there was a very high correlation between all of these readings. In other words, professors have a really short amount of time to make a good impression!

In The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, Dr. Barry Schwartz offers some other surprising insights about decision-making:

We tend to give higher weight to a vivid personal story about a company’s offering than an independent analysis based on thousands and thousands of readers (a la Consumer Reports).
We judge the value of an item in relation to “anchor” items. An $800 suit will seem like a bargain in relation to $1500 suits, but overpriced when surrounded by $500 suits. Ergo, companies often create a high-priced model for which they may get few takers so that their lesser priced items will seem all the more attractive.
We love discounts and hate surcharges. Ergo, if we’re planning to spend $100 cash for an item, we’re happier being told that we’d get a $10 discount for cash from the regular $110 price than to find out that purchasers on credit will be assessed a $10 premium over the regular $100 price. Yet we’re still forking over the same $100!
We tend to be risk-averse with respect to potential gains and loss-averse with respect to potential losses. Apparently, we don’t get all that much incremental satisfaction from maximizing a potential payout. But if we stand to lose something, we’re much more likely to engage in risky behavior to avoid taking the hit.
In a similar vein, we don’t handle “sunk costs” very well. If we’ve paid money for something and it turns out to be a losing proposition, we’ll stick with it even if it causes us grief. This insight made me chuckle. It reminded me of a time when my husband and I went to a movie that we absolutely hated. I wanted to leave after the first hour; he wanted to get his money’s worth and stay to the end!
Once something has been given to us, we are disinclined to give it back or trade it for something else. It becomes “ours.” That’s why companies don’t worry so much about offering money-back guarantees; they know that few people will take advantage of them!

All of the foregoing suggests that we aren’t as rational in decision-making as we might think we are. My take-aways: I’m going to be a little more aware of how companies market their wares to me. I’m going to pay a bit more attention to the inner workings of my mind and challenge myself with the cold, hard facts of a given situation. If I’m especially insightful, I may just notice what my gut is telling me… and why. And if I’m not happy with a decision, I’ll encourage myself to move on!

The Road to Character

New York Times columnist David Brooks has made his living observing and commenting on the political and cultural developments of the day. In The Road to Character, he turns his attention to the annuls of history to explore a moral ecology that stands in sharp relief to the prevailing focus on the self. He writes:

“My general belief is that we’ve accidentally left this moral tradition behind… We’re not more selfish or venal that people in other times, but we’ve lost the understanding of how character is built. The ‘crooked timber’ moral tradition – based on an awareness of sin and the confrontation of sin – was an inheritance passed down from generation to generation. It gave people a clearer sense of how to cultivate the eulogy virtues, how to develop the [better] side of their nature. Without it, there is a certain superficiality to modern culture, especially in the moral sphere.”

Brooks explores this terrain by providing real-life examples of how the shaping of a human soul worked. His intent was to allow his readers to glean important lessons and insights by bearing witness to these extraordinary lives. I found each of these biographies riveting – well worth the time it took to engage them.

While Brooks is loath to suggest that there is a twelve-step program to lead interested parties to a moral life, he identified a number of “threads” that seemed to run through the lives of the individuals that he highlighted in his book. The associated prescriptive for righteous living might read something like this:

Lead a life of purpose, righteousness, and virtue, not just one of pleasure.
Recognize our innate tendency toward selfishness and overconfidence as well as our propensity to see ourselves as the center of the universe; use this awareness as the starting point for moral and spiritual development.
Engage earnestly in the struggle to overcome our baser instincts and grow in moral strength through a lifetime of effort. Sacrifice worldly success for the sake of inner excellence.
Practice humility, recognizing that we are underdogs in the struggle against our weaknesses.
Be vigilant over prideful tendencies that ignore our failings and deceive us into believing that we are better than others.
Be more attuned to the internal struggle against our deficiencies than the external journey up the ladder of success.
Become more disciplined, considerate, and loving through a thousand small acts of self-control, sharing, service, friendship, and refined enjoyment.
Build enduring character traits – e.g., courage, honesty, humility – through sustained attachments to worthy people, causes, callings, and convictions. Be faithful through thick and thin.
Leverage redemptive assistance from the outside – faith, family, friends, ancestors, exemplars, traditions, institutions – to achieve self-mastery.
Recognize and surrender to the saving power of grace – from love of family and friends, from the assistance of a stranger, and from God.
Be a grateful recipient of the endowment of practical wisdom, traditions, habits, manners, moral sentiments, and practices from our forbearers, recognizing that experience is a better teacher than abstract reason.
Serve work that is intrinsically compelling and commit to its pursuit, ever mindful of what life is asking of us.
Be good stewards of organizations over which we are called to be leaders, passing them along to others in better condition that when we found them.
Attain maturity by being dependable in times of testing, straight in times of temptation, sure-footed in pursuit of noble purpose, and clear-headed amid reactions from admirers and detractors.

For those who might find the narrow path to righteousness stringent, Brooks provides a comforting and salutary observation:

“There is joy in a life filled with interdependence with others, in a life filled with gratitude, reverence, and admiration. There’s joy in freely chosen obedience to people, ideas, and commitments greater than oneself… There’s an aesthetic joy we feel in morally good action, which makes all other joys seem paltry and easy to forsake.”

Read the book and have a vibrant discussion with friends about it. It just may change your life.

Financial Management Mistakes – Part III

Here’s the final installment of commentary on The Dumb Things Smart People Do With Their Money, by CBS News Business Analyst Jill Schlesinger.

#9: Saddling your kids with your own money issues. We all have baggage when it comes to money management. And parents tend to pass along some variation of their baggage onto their children. As the daughter of parents who lived though the Great Depression, I’m conservative with money management and I know how to stretch a dollar. It’s baggage that has served me well, although I’ll accept the nudge to live a little!

#10: Lacking a plan for your aging parents. I’ve written a post on becoming my parents’ financial manager. I was lucky. My parents were open to a frank discussion about their means and needs, and they’d already done the hard work of making provisions for themselves. I simply had to take over the administration of those plans. I see my friends struggling with aging parent issues and all the anxiety that comes with a substantive change in the parent-child dynamic. It’s hard! But I think it’s really important to work out a plan well in advance of the imperative to execute it. That way, everyone gets on the same page about what will happen, and the mechanisms can be put in place to step in and manage things when and if it becomes necessary.

#11: Buying the wrong insurance. I wasn’t as attentive to this chapter given that we’ve had multiple reviews of our insurance coverage and feel very well protected. (I’ll still likely schedule another review shortly for good measure!) But I’d tie the message about insurance back to the first two financial mistakes covered in Jill Schlesinger’s book: Buying investments you don’t understand and working with the wrong advisors. Insurance has its own share of complexity and fine print. Find a trustworthy person with whom to navigate the terrain. Do your homework. Ask questions.

#12: Lacking an estate plan. We have a living trust, wills, powers of attorney, and healthcare directives. They’ve been in place for quite some time but probably merit review. A surprising number of my friends and colleagues have no such provisions. To me, it’s a fundamental denial of our impermanence on this planet and the lack of predictability over when our time is up. It’s pretty easy to put these legal documents in place, and it saves mountains of grief for our loved ones to attend to these details before the unthinkable happens. (And having worked as a hospital chaplain, I know that the unthinkable does happen!) So as Nike’s ads would tell us: Just do it!

#13: Trying to “time” the market. The author argues that today’s markets are too sophisticated and too unpredictable for any one person to accurately time the peaks (to sell) and valleys (to buy back in). We have no illusion about possessing special powers to do what others haven’t been able to do reliably. We have an asset allocation plan, and we only make adjustments to adhere to the guidelines that we’ve set.

This brief foray into Ms. Schlesinger’s treatise should give a taste for a much bigger discussion. If you are serious about handling your own finances well, check it out!

Financial Management Mistakes – Part II

This post continues the discussion of The Dumb Things Smart People Do With Their Money, by CBS News Business Analyst Jill Schlesinger.

#5: Buying a house when you should rent. The author bursts the bubble on the long-standing American dream of being a homeowner. She has seen folks go overboard on home purchases while failing to take a full account of the annual costs (mortgages, taxes, insurance, annual maintenance). She has seen folks bet on increases in the value of their homes that never materialize. And she has watched folks deal with headache-upon-headache as they attempt to reap big gains as landlords. In short, homeownership isn’t a bed of roses. As one who has had to spend money on roofing, fencing, painting, HVAC systems, water heaters, and a host of equally unglamorous expenditures, I take her caution to heart. However, we enjoy having a nice place to live that isn’t subject to escalating rental rates or forced relocation at the lease’s end. We also bought a modest property that is well within our budget. So, I think the better advice is simply to have a really sharp pencil and a really sharp mind when making housing decisions.

#6: Taking on too much risk. My parents had an elderly friend years ago who bragged about an investment opportunity in which she was guaranteed a 24% return. She was so enthusiastic about it that she invested the majority of her retirement savings in it. Within 2 years, her money had all but evaporated, and she went back to work. Like it or not, there’s a relationship between risk and return. The higher the return, the less predictable the reward and the more volatile the year-to-year performance. If you don’t have the stomach to ride the highs and lows of the investment (e.g., the stock market), then you may not be well-served dipping you toes in it. Over the years, I’ve erred on the side of caution. I worked very hard for the money I earned and hated putting it at risk. But I’ve since learned the value of a balanced portfolio with fixed income and equity investments. And I don’t panic and sell every time values take a dip!

#7: Failing to protect your identity. I’ve written a blog post on this subject where I lay out the 7 key steps that I follow to protect our identities. I take the author’s admonition to change passwords for on-line access to financial accounts seriously. Even though I use complex passwords, it’s still a good idea to change things up periodically. Where available, I also sign up for two-factor authentication – i.e., a logon password plus entry of a code sent to my cell phone. (Read the blog!)

#8: Indulging yourselves too much in your early retirement years. We have yet to retire, but I doubt that this problem will surface for us. I understand the temptation. It goes something like this: “I’ve worked hard all my life. Now that I’m retired, I’m going to live it up and do all of the things that I’ve always wanted to do.” I’m all for it assuming that the dollars and cents support the dreams. I temper our enthusiasm with an Excel spreadsheet that I created to capture our anticipated income streams and expenses going out through age 100. (Respected financial planners at a former client go out to age 95.) I’ll tell you this: It takes a pretty good chunk of change to finance a long life, especially if there’s infirmity at the end of it. I update my spreadsheet every year. If we fall outside of our capacity to fund our old age, we make adjustments. I’d rather make a few sacrifices today than find myself destitute when I haven’t got the means to bolster my personal treasury.

Financial Management Mistakes – Part I

I bend my ear toward financial planning gurus from time to time to help keep the business side of our household in good stead. The latest book to capture my attention is The Dumb Things Smart People Do With Their Money, by CBS News Business Analyst Jill Schlesinger. While it didn’t reveal any new earth-shattering insights, I nodded my head quite a bit as I read through her commentary.

In the next three posts, I’ll offer my two cents on her list of 13 dumb things that smart people do:

#1: Buying financial products that you don’t understand. Been there, done that. My husband and I were really, really busy pursuing our careers during the early years of our marriage. Long hours. Lots of weekends spent at the office. So the last thing we wanted to do during our down time was wade through all the fine print that comes with regulatory investment disclosures. We wanted the “professionals” to handle things for us. And we went with a friend’s recommendation on who those folks might be, never realizing that their due diligence was as suspect as ours! We wound up putting IRA contributions into limited partnerships that invested in real estate. Long story short: We had high administrative fees, low yield on our invested funds, and very limited means for getting our money out. At the end of the day, we lost nearly all of our initial stake. Fortunately, we got burned before we had any substantive capital to invest. Nowadays, I either force myself to read all the fine print (and ask questions!), or I stick with investments that I readily understand.

#2: Taking financial advice from the wrong people. This lesson goes along with the aforementioned debacle. Many of us fall prey to the notion that someone who sells financial products is a financial expert. In reality, an awful lot of them are just salespeople who make commissions off of the investments that they place. They aren’t trying to narrow down the wide range of available products to those that best suit our goals and risk tolerance. They’re trying to sell their products! Of course, they’d like us to do well and become repeat customers. But realize that it’s their financial security (and not ours) that drive the interactions. I still think it’s a good idea to take advice from qualified experts as they can lend their knowledge, skills, and experience to your money management. (They read all that fine print!) I simply prefer to deal with credentialed folks who earn their living by the fees I pay them, not the commissions they make off product sales.

#3: Making money more important than it is. Money is a means to an end – a roof over one’s head, food on the table, clothes on one’s back, and quality time with friends and family. When the pursuit of money impinges on health, happiness, and relationships, it’s time to change course. The author tells us that individuals feel happiest when making $60,000-75,000 and feel the best about their lives when making ~$95,000. They have “enough” to take care of their material needs… and then some. Surprisingly, as wealth increases, issues and anxiety surrounding money also increase. Symptoms include: keeping secrets from spouses, losing sleep, obsessing about investments, over- or underspending, comparing one’s financial standing with others incessantly. Both my husband and I are predisposed toward thrift based on our upbringing and life experiences. So, I’ll take to heart the call to loosen up the purse strings a bit and make sure we’re enjoying life!

#4: Taking on too much college debt. This issue is heartbreaking for me given the number of friends and family members who have soul-crushing college debt. With the cost of higher education spiraling out of control, we do a grave disservice to college-bound students by making student debt so readily available. As neuroscience tells us, our brains are not fully formed until we reach our mid-twenties. Executive functioning is the last to develop – i.e., that part of the brain that recognizes the long-term consequences of our short-term decisions and actions. So, it’s up to the older, wiser generation to inject some reality into a young person’s college dreams so that their financial future does not become a nightmare. I’m a fan of the junior college system to satisfy lower division educational requirements. (Living at home a couple of extra years beats a lifetime of debt!) I’m also a fan of having straight talk about career options to guide one’s academic choices… including the option of deferring (or taking a pass on) college education altogether.

The Perils of Overfunctioning

My last post brought me back to my experience as a hospital chaplain when I studied family system theory as part of my pastoral care education program. It also got me thinking about an important dynamic that has informed my behavior ever since.

As noted previously, I’m a fan of Dr. Ronald Richardson’s book Family Ties That Bind. A brief section on overfunctioning and underfunctioning hit home for me. He defines these terms as follows:

The overfunctioner tends to feel that there is no option but to take on the responsibility and do the work required.
The underfunctioner may feel incapable and so allow – or even expect – the other to be responsible, saying: “I can’t” or “You won’t let me.”

In healthy relationships, we take turns being the overfunctioner and underfunctioner… or simply function independently and cohesively without over or under doing it. But in unhealthy relationships, we can get stuck playing one role or the other. We may even allow that way of being to spill over into other relationships.

I’ve spent most of my life being an overfunctioner. I learned this behavior as a small child within the context of my family system. Part of it came from a strong family work ethic. Part of it had to do with gaining approval for achievement, which often entailed doing far more than my share of group efforts to ensure our collective success. Part of it had to do with a sense of responsibility for my mother’s emotional well-being (which she encouraged). Over the years, overfunctioning became a deeply engrained pattern.

Of course, the world rewards overfunctioners. We’re praised for being strong, hard-working, responsible, get-it-done team players. We get promotions on the job because the higher-ups realize that we’ll make sure that our assignments and those of our subordinates will be completed… even if doing so renders us bone-weary. And we may feel a sense of pride in the skills that we develop and the work that we achieve along the way. But there’s a cost…

When we overfunction chronically, we hold other people small. We’re sending out the implicit signal that we don’t find them capable of doing their work. We’re not giving them the opportunity to step up and grow. And we’re creating a dependency that we may not be able to sustain. They may buy into this bargain and, in fact, enjoy being coddled. But in reality, we’re not doing them any favors long term.

Overfunctioning introduces tension in a relationship. No matter how noble our intentions might be at the onset, we may resent doing all the extra work and get irritable with the folks who we deem underfunctioners. And they may grow resentful of us for creating a dependency… even if they’ve agreed to it implicitly or explicitly. Furthermore, by failing to bring forth the richness of our compatriot’s wisdom and talents, we miss out on a level of greatness that accrues to a genuinely collaborative effort.

Overfunctioners can fall prey to pridefulness. We can feel as though our ways are the only ways. We may see ourselves as indispensable when, in reality, the world will continue to spin on its axis whether we participate in its daily rotations or not. Beyond the arrogance of it all, we can run ourselves into the ground keeping up with a needlessly hectic and overstuffed workload.

I’m hardest hit on my overfunctioning tendencies in volunteer roles. In most not-for-profit organizations, there are a handful of people who do a lion’s share of the work and a whole lot of folks who enjoy a free ride. I usually count myself among the lions, especially when I see the burden that the stalwart volunteers bear. However, I am learning to pace myself and do my share (and then some) and let others choose how much they’re willing to contribute. That may mean letting the organization come to terms with how much work it is willing to take on and how many things it is willing to let go undone.

It’s a life-long challenge for me… but I’m working it every day.

Introduction to Family Systems Theory

I served as a chaplain years ago at Rex Healthcare in Cary, North Carolina while completing several units of clinical pastoral care curriculum. A major focus of study was a discipline referred to as family systems. Its basic premise is that nothing happens in isolation within a family. Should one member undergo a major shock or change, there is a ripple effect across the entire system. It’s a bit like a mobile – touch one element and the entire structure wiggles and wobbles until it reaches a new equilibrium.

We used Dr. Ronald Richardson’s Family Ties That Bind as a reference text. It’s well worth a read even if you never plan to provide pastoral care. It creates a framework through which you can better understand yourself and your relationship to folks in close orbit.

Richardson reminds us that every family and every relationship has rules – whether spoken or unspoken. When members play by the rules, the family experiences harmony and balance. (The “mobile” is steady.)

Young children learn the rules overtly or through punishment for transgression, the most effective of which is withdrawal of affection. Because children are so dependent on their parents, they’ll suppress the objectionable parts of themselves rather than risk alienation. Home-grown family members tend to assimilate the rules readily. Members by marriage may face significant challenges!

Of course, no two people can share an intimate relationship without unearthing substantive differences between them. Difference evokes anxiety to a greater or lesser degree; sameness feels comfortable and validating. So, it’s not uncommon to put forth subtle (or not so subtle) cues to try and get our partners to be more like us. Unfortunately, our partners’ responses may not be forwarding:

Compliant ones respond to the pressure by going along to get along. They stuff their personal predilections and behave as though there is no difference. While this approach creates the illusion of closeness, the parties never get the opportunity to know themselves or one another.
Rebels fear conformity yet lack the security to move forward independently. They remain stuck in conflict with the party or parties against whom they’re trying to take a stand. The gap between the parties widens. And while fighting against the “other,” rebels never set their own goals and pursue their own paths.
Isolationists withdraw – either physically or emotionally – because they cannot be close without experiencing a great deal of anxiety. They may feel powerless to change the dynamic and simply deny their need for connection.

As tensions escalate between a pair, one may attempt to establish a triangle with a third party, a group, or an issue. It allows for the formation of a coalition that brings further pressure on the “other.” It provides additional support and strength to the party who is feeling weak. Common family triangles include Father-Mother-Child (to control the child) and Grandparent-Child-Parent (to control the parent). The appropriate response to tension in relationship calls for doing the hard work of resolving outstanding issues one-on-one without bringing in third parties, outside issues, or so-called “experts.”

True intimacy challenges us to become well-differentiated, emotionally mature individuals. It means that we:

Gain clarity on our own beliefs and needs without being defensive about them
Maintain a sense of self when close to others and self-sufficiency when distant
Appreciate and enjoy difference between ourselves and others
Live by rules for relationship that make sense for us
Use facts and feelings to communicate effectively
Listen attentively and ask for clarification on others’ wants and intentions
Negotiate resolution to differences without creating “triangles”
Openly accept responsibility for our mistakes and make amends
Refuse to play the roles of persecutor, victim, or rescuer
Own our own upsets, distress, needs, etc. rather than blame others or circumstances for them
Develop healthy ways to cope with anxiety

Is Success All In Your Mind?

In Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck makes a powerful argument that the views we adopt for ourselves profoundly affect how we live our lives. In particular, her research demonstrates a positive and substantial advantage to those who live with a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.

Here’s how she characterizes the two:

	FIXED MINDSET	GROWTH MINDSET
Core Belief	Intelligence and competencies as innate endowments that are set at birth.	Intelligence and competencies as qualities to be developed with passion, toil, and training.
Work Ethic	Seeks to minimize effort and get by with natural talent; considers hard work fruitless.	Views effort as a means of continuous improvement and the path to mastery.
Challenges	Avoids trials; thrives when things are safely within their grasp.	Seeks out challenges as a means to stretch themselves and learn new skills.
Failures	Experienced as a haunting trauma for which they’ll either assign blame or make excuses.	Recognized as a problem to be faced, processed, and learned from.
Self-Assessment	Tends to be either overinflated to stroke their egos, or deflated in response to setbacks.	Assesses their own abilities accurately – neither inflated or deflated.
Criticism	Ignores constructive feedback and denigrates the source.	Evaluates feedback and its source and learns from it.
Success of Others	Feels threatened; wants to take them down.	Finds lessons and inspiration; wants to emulate.

Dr. Dweck develops these concepts in the context of achievement in school, sports, business, and relationships. For example:

Great teachers believe in the growth of intellect and talent. They set high standards and teach a love of learning all the while nurturing achievement through purposeful effort.
Great athletes with a growth mindset: (i) find success in doing their best while learning and improving; (ii) use set-backs as “wake up” calls to redouble their efforts; and, (iii) take charge of the process that brings – and sustains – success.
Business leaders with a growth mindset constantly ask questions and confront the hard truths. They can look failure in the face while still maintaining faith in their organization’s ability to succeed.
People with a growth mindset can understand, forgive, and move on when confronted by disappointment in relationship. Their fixed mindset counterparts feel the sting of rejection/judgment and may seek revenge to even the score.

At the end of the day, mindsets are just beliefs. Just because some people can do things better than others with relatively little effort does not mean that others cannot acquire those skills. Even artistic skills can be cultivated, as amply demonstrated by self-portraits drawn by inexperienced artists before and after a mere 5 days of training. We simply need to develop practices that open our minds and give ourselves the requisite time for our potential to flower… with effort and coaching, of course.

One final note: While we may have a growth mindset in one area of our lives, we may fall into the trap of a fixed mindset in others! We need to recognize the qualities that help us success in one area and apply them elsewhere.

Find the Right Balance of Acid and Alkaline Foods

Long ago in science class, I learned about the pH scale which measures the relative acidity of a solution. Acid solutions generally measure between 0 and 7, while base (or alkaline) solutions measure between 7 and 14. At room temperature, pure water is neither acidic nor basic and has a pH of 7.

As the human body is predominantly liquid, it has a pH as well. It runs between 7.35 and 7.45, which is alkaline. It must maintain this environment for all necessary cellular functions and reactions to occur. When faced with an influx of acidic material, the body has the ability to neutralize it within reasonable limits. But this activity can have unwanted consequences – e.g., leaching the calcium out of our bones. Excess acid disrupts the delicate machinery of the body.

An acid-forming diet introduces excess acids into our bodies. Until I read a little booklet about it, I had no idea what that statement meant. I didn’t know which foods were acid and which were alkaline. At a high level, here’s how they play out:

*Alkaline-Forming*	*Acid-Forming*
Most fruits Most vegetables Lentils Most spices Most herbs and seasonings Most seeds and nuts	Meat Fish Poultry Eggs Most Grains Most Legumes

The worksheet on acid/alkaline foods provides more detailed information. Looking through it, I found many things that seemed counter-intuitive. For example, I would have thought that citrus fruits (lemons, limes, grapefruits, oranges) were acidic, but they’re alkaline! I also noticed that honey, maple syrup, sugar, and cocoa sit on the acid side of the divide. Finally, sea salt is “most alkaline” while common table salt is “most acid.” (Fortunately, I’m not big on salt, period!)

A health-promoting diet ensures that the body is not battling an excess of acid. The 5 principles of the Alkaline Way^® Diet are:

Eat high quality foods – fresh fruits and vegetables, free-range poultry, grass-fed meats.
Restore health by eating 80% of foods from alkaline sources; maintain health by eating 60% of food from alkaline sources.
Eat a wide variety of high quality foods as each delivers its special blend of vital nutrients and helps sustain healthy digestion.
Strike the right balance of acid and alkaline foods at each meal. (When your plate is filled with colorful produce, you’re on the right path!)
Consume enough fiber and pure water to keep things moving smoothly through the digestive tract.

Some quick tips to boost your daily dose of alkaline foods:

Drink the juice of a half of a lemon or lime or a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in 6-8 ounces of water a few times during the day.
Add lentils, yams, and sweet potatoes to your diet regularly.
Eat at least 1 cup of alkalizing greens daily – i.e., kale, mustard greens, collard greens, or endive. (Note: Spinach is acid-forming!)
Add miso and seaweed soups as a precursor to meals. They are alkalizing and aide in digestion.
Give preferential treatment to oats, quinoa, and wild rice when choosing grains.
Enjoy liberal amounts of fresh fruit and avoid dried fruit.

Note: The Alkaline Way^® Diet was developed by Susan Brown, PhD, CCN and Russell Jaffe, MD, PhD, CCN.

I’m Putting My House on a Diet

I am at an age where my peers and I are dealing with the passing on of our parents. This sorrowful period brings with it the responsibility to find homes for all of their belongings. While selected treasures comfortably fit in our ofttimes overstuffed residences, there’s still quite a lot to be processed and moved along to other owners. This activity has elevated my consciousness regarding our stuff.

I’ll confess that having a fair amount of space in our home makes it easy to accumulate excess baggage. Our ample closets and storage help us avoid the difficult decisions about what to keep and what to let go. So, we put things in boxes, close the doors, and forget about them. Two self-funded cross-country moves helped us trim back on things. And yet a quick peek into our cubbies provides a reminder of how many possessions never see the light of day.

There is a practical dimension to combing through our belongings and purging what we don’t need. We plan to downsize in our next move. I don’t want to face the gargantuan task of sifting through all this stuff amidst a move, especially given the time and effort required to find good homes for everything. (I really don’t want perfectly usable items to wind up in land fill!) I also want to spare our executor the unpleasant task of dealing with excess belongings once we move along to the next emanation.

There is a financial dimension to the task of paring back. I’ve made a little bit of money selling items through eBay, Craig’s List, and yard sales. I’m not convinced that the proceeds merit the effort required to offer them up. The real benefit comes from taking a hard look at everything and taking note of how many purchases failed to deliver value. That realization helps me curb the impulse to spend.

There is a spiritual dimension to the process. According to the Chinese metaphysical art of feng shui, all matter radiates a living energy known as Ch’i. This energy finds resonance in the thing itself as well as the reactions, emotions, and memories that we bring to it. Feng shui practitioners leverage these invisible energy forces to harmonize individuals with their surrounding environment. In The Western Guide to Feng Shui, Terah Kathryn Collins tells us:

“Items that have unhappy memories or feeling attached to them, or that you simply don’t like, do not carry the vital Ch’i that is supportive of you. The fastest way to transform the aliveness of these objects into something that is fresh and welcome is to let them go. Sell, throw, or give them away! Your junk is put back into the flow, and may very well become another person’s treasure. The Ch’i has an opportunity to be recharged or recycled, while you enjoy the lightness of being that comes with lightening your baggage and surrounding yourself with things that have positive, happy associations.”

I put that concept to the test in a recent decision to replace a dining room set that I’d inherited 30+ years ago from my grandmother. I never liked it. I told myself that it was good furniture, and its presence meant that I would not have to buy a set myself. But after living with it all these years, I finally decided to get something that reflects my husband’s and my tastes. I’m excited about the new set and felt great about donating the old one to ReStore.

Meanwhile, I’ve started the process of going through the house room-by-room to identify things we don’t use or need. It’s tedious. Some decisions are easy; some aren’t. I may not be as ruthless as I ought to be on this go around. However, I’m planning on putting the house on a diet regularly to keep it – and us – in great shape!

Healthy Lifestyle

Ideas to Nourish the Body, Mind, and Spirit