Author Archives: Maren

Leaders

As the country ramps into high gear for the coming election cycle, I thought it would be worthwhile to revisit books on leadership that I’ve read over the years. First up is a book by Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus entitled Leaders: The Strategies for Taking Charge.

Right up front, the authors assert that leadership is all about character. Great leaders are persons of integrity with a healthy self-regard, a compelling vision, a penchant for cultivating human possibility, and laser-like focus on desired outcomes. They manifest 5 key skills:

An ability to accept people as they are, not as they’d like them to be
A capacity to approach issues and relationships in the present, informed by history but not rooted in it
A practice of treating close associates with the same courtesy as they offer to strangers
An ability to trust others, even when it means taking risks
An ability to do without constant approval and recognition from others

In addition to these five key skills, Bennis and Nanus describe four areas of competency that all extraordinary leaders possess.

Attention Through Vision: Great leaders have a clear and compelling organizational vision and commit fully to getting there. They aren’t thrown off task by the myriad of day-to-day distractions; they remain undeterred when roadblocks and bumps in the road cross their paths. They capitalize on opportunities, course correct as necessary, and sustain focus, flexibility, and optimism along the way.

Meaning Through Communication: Great leaders know how to share their visions in ways that bring forth enthusiasm and commitment in others. This skill demands a mastery of communications alongside an ability to establish a context that resonates for all concerned. As the authors tell us:

“When the organization has a clear sense of its purpose, direction, and desired future state and when this image is widely shared, individuals are able to find their roles in both the organization and in the larger society of which they are a part.”

Purposeful engagement engenders vigor and enthusiasm for the tasks at hand.

Trust Through Positioning: Leaders secure trust by faithfulness to their organizational identity. It’s measured by how they structure and staff the organization, by the policies they enact, the decisions they make, and the results they achieve. Their fidelity yields “clean bills of health” when subjected to rigorous (unfettered) third party investigation or audit.

Deployment of Self Through Positive Self-Regard: Effective leadership springs from a healthy sense of self. Great leaders know their worth and trust themselves without getting caught up in their egos or needing to maintain external images. They’re committed to evolving personally and professionally. They evaluate themselves dispassionately to discern the “fit” between their skills/experience and the requirements of the job. They shore up their weaknesses and bend their ears toward good advice.

Finally, the authors remind us:

“The challenge to leaders will be to act as compassionate coaches, dedicated to reducing stress by ensuring that the whole team has everything it needs – from human to financial resources to emotional support and encouragement – to work together effectively and at peak performance most of the time. Recognizing, developing, and celebrating the distinctive skills of each individual will become critically important to organizational survival.”

A Good Life

Now entering my fourth month of quarantine, I’m getting lots of time to read (and re-read) a variety of books. This week, I re-encountered Jonathan Field’s book, How To Live A Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom.

If you haven’t read anything by Jonathan Fields, I encourage you to give this book a go. He’s a wonderful writer, and his advice strikes me as thoughtful and grounded in reality. As the Founder of the Good Life Project, he hosts a popular podcast to which I subscribe and also runs conferences for folks seeking to take their lives up a notch.

Jonathan’s formula for living a good life relies upon creating balance in each of three “buckets”:

The VITALITY BUCKET acknowledges that we need to be feel sufficiently fit, energized, strong, and flexible to participate fully in life. It entails making life choices that minimize pain, disease, and disability (e.g., nutritious diet, daily exercise and stretching, good sleep habits, eliminating stress/tension). It calls for living peacefully in the moment with gratitude for what we have and optimism toward the future. (Not surprisingly, he’s a big fan of meditation!) It also means cultivating a growth mindset that is open to opportunity and bounces back from adversity.

The CONNECTION BUCKET recognizes that we are fundamentally social creatures. We need to give and receive love. We need to be seen, understood, and embraced by folks who share our interests and values. And we need to connect to something that is larger than ourselves. To fill this bucket, we must do the inner work to understand ourselves well enough to identify our tribes while developing the skills to engage with integrity and compassion. We must also do the legwork to cultivate relationships. (Hint: We need to get our noses out of technology to do it!) Along the way, we can work toward becoming an increasingly better version of ourselves.

The CONTRIBUTION BUCKET entails knowing that we are doing what we’re meant to do and lighting up along the way. For many of us, this bucket may be the toughest to fill. We may have gotten so enmeshed in what life expected that we bypassed figuring out what really matters to us. Jonathan invites us to explore the following:

Curiosity: Toward what do you feel a deep yearning to answer a burning question?
Fascination: What subject matter triggers an intrinsic desire to learn?
Immersion: In what activities do you become engaged and then lose all track of time?
Mastery: What expertise or skills would you like to develop at the highest level?
Service: Where do you feel most adept and/or energized when contributing to those around you?

He encourages us to identify key strengths (e.g., as revealed by things like the VIA Survey of Character Strengths). They may prove useful for identifying focal areas. Likewise, distinctive skills, talents, knowledge, and experience may come into play. That being said, we may not be excited about things at which we’re naturally gifted or acquired mastery. We’ll only fill our contribution bucket when we’re good at something for which we feel an inner spark.

All three buckets benefit from the art of saying NO. NO to patterns of behavior that drain our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual resources. NO to relationships that distract us from our journeys or are otherwise energy vampires. NO to letting our heads talk us into jumping on paths that our hearts know would be wrong for us.

Finally, Jonathan tells us to “think ripple, not wave.” Simple actions, moments, and experiences delivered with intention and integrity can propel us to a good life.

Twelve Practices for Spiritual Insight

I had occasion recently to reacquaint myself with Carolyn Myss’ Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing, one of her 5 New York Times best-selling books. She’s a self-described subject matter expert in the fields of human consciousness, spirituality and mysticism, health, energy medicine, and the science of medical intuition. The book explores “energy anatomy,” a line of inquiry that correlates emotional, psychological, and spiritual stress with disease.

As one who has been interested in the mind-body connection and its impact on well-being, I found her work intriguing. It ties the 7 chakras, bodily organs, and related mental/emotional issues to specific physical dysfunctions. (See attached.) While I would pursue conventional medical treatment should I experience any of the indicated maladies, I’d certainly give due consideration to the indicated mental/emotional issues and their influence on recovery. Read the book for a detailed exposition of her work.

For today’s post, I thought I’d paraphrase her twelve practices to attain symbolic sight and increase one’s ability to mirror divine reasoning. They’re good advice and may very well contribute favorably to a healthy lifestyle. They are:

Practice introspection. Notice what you do and what you believe; explore the roots of your behaviors and worldviews.
Be open-minded. Be an attentive observer to your thoughts and take notice when your mind “shuts down.”
Be on the alert for defensiveness. It’s a clear indication that your mind is working to keep new insights from entering and influencing your consciousness.
Recognize that all situations and relationships are “teachers,” even if you cannot recognize the messages or lessons in the moment.
Pay attention to your dreams; they may provide valuable guidance and insight.
Process and release thoughts that promote self-pity or anger; stop blaming others for things that happen to you. Such thoughts keep you stuck in unhealthy places and forestall growth.
Practice detachment. Gather relevant data dispassionately to make the best possible decisions in the moment. Don’t constrain yourself to work toward a specific outcome.
Refrain from judgments about people, situations, and the size and importance of tasks. The narrow window of the present does not provide a complete view of all the facts or details of any situation nor the long-term consequences of your actions.
Recognize when you have been overtaken by fear and allowing its influence to govern your behavior. Identify the source and its impact on your mind and emotions. Make choices that diminish its influence.
Distance yourself from value systems that argue for achieving certain goals as the precursor for success. Visualize success as an energy force through which you achieve enlightenment, self-control, and the wherewithal to navigate the challenges and opportunities that life presents.
Act on your inner guidance; don’t wait for external validation of your intuition. The more you cling to a need for “proof,” the less likely you’ll receive it or recognize it when it comes.
Focus your attention on the present moment. Don’t linger on the past or worry about the future. Learn to trust what you cannot see.

Be Your Own Life Coach

The late 20^th century saw the emergence of “life coaches” as the natural outgrowth of the positive psychology movement. It asserted that people were far more likely to transform their lives by looking toward the future rather than dwelling on their past. To that end, life coaches work one-on-one with clients to support their clients’ personal growth, behavior modification, and goal-setting.

While we might all profit from having a trained mentor to help us chart our courses, that luxury carries a considerable expense. Thomas J. Leonard opted to bring the power of personal coaching to the masses though the aegis of his books. Here’s some sage advice from The Portable Coach: 28 Sure Fire Strategies for Business and Personal Success:

ONE: Take incredibly good care of yourself. Create positive energy in your home environment and personal relationships. Commit to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being through nourishing daily rituals.

TWO: Focus on the here and now. If a hoped-for future captivates your imagination, the destination may become more important than the journey. Hold plans lightly and be willing to evolve and adapt along the way. A better future finds you when you make the most of the present.

THREE: Make bold choices when life throws you curve balls. Listen to your body and let it guide you. Make sure you don’t have to learn the same lesson multiple times.

FOUR: Build a super-reserve in every area of your life so that scarcity-based worrying does not stoke the fires of fear. The author provides a Super-Reserve Test that spans Home & Comfort, Transportation, Financial, Safety, Health,/Vitality, Opportunity, Space/Time, Calamity Protection, Supplies & Equipment, Relationships.

FIVE: Find out what others value highly and deliver it in excellence.

SIX: Strive to be a positive influence in other peoples’ lives.

SEVEN: Take pride in what you do and what you offer; let your light shine.

EIGHT: Take a penetrating inventory of what you find unattractive about yourself or your life. Eliminate or compensate for them on the road to becoming irresistibly attractive to yourself.

NINE: Don’t let your lifestyle get in the way of living a purposeful, fulfilling life.

TEN: Underpromise, overdeliver. Maintain a reserve of time. Exceed expectations for the joy of it, not through the drudgery of meeting obligations.

ELEVEN: Discover a vision for your life that you find inherently magnetic. Let it pull you toward it rather than push yourself elsewhere.

TWELVE: Eliminate delay. Respond to requests and opportunities immediately (even if that response is a NO). Figure out when and why you hold back (e.g., fear) and remove barriers.

THIRTEEN: Meet personal needs to be your best self – e.g., inspiration, information, support, solutions, focus, people, skills, networks, etc. Set up an automated needs satisfaction system!

FOURTEEN: Be attentive to details. Details, systems, and big picture stand in a 50-48-2 relationship to one another. Details keep you in the present and make things happen.

FIFTEEN: Stop tolerating things that are a drag on your life, energy, and performance. Get to the root of why you’re putting up with them and move toward a tolerance-free zone.

SIXTEEN: Teach people how to treat you well. Communicate so that people understand what you need and are happy to provide it for you.

SEVENTEEN: Own up to (and be compassionate toward) your worst weaknesses. Be responsible for how they affect you and others. Note the relationship between them and your greatest strengths. Focus your energies on the latter and find ways to make accommodation for the former.

EIGHTEEN: Stop numbing yourself with alcohol, narcotics, food, TV, and otherwise zoning out. Live fully in the moment, sensitive to all that surrounds you.

NINETEEN: Maintain everything in your life in good working order – your body, clothes, home, office, car, tools, equipment, lighting, sound, etc.

TWENTY: Develop more character than you need.

TWENTY-ONE: Choose to see the present moment as perfect; find the gift in everything.

TWENTY-TWO: Be unconditionally constructive with yourself and others. Be encouraging and respectful.

TWENTY-THREE: Orient your life around your values. They’ll help you set the right goals and make better decisions.

TWENTY-FOUR: Simplify your life. Get rid of things you don’t want/need. Automate administrative and financial tasks. Get help. Eliminate energy drains and proceed confidently toward areas with a high likelihood of positive returns.

TWENTY-FIVE: Attain mastery of your craft(s).

TWENTY-SIX: Speak the truth. Eliminate impediments to your ability to recognize truth. Live in integrity.

TWENTY-SEVEN: Be attentive to current conditions, trends, and events so that you can assess where things are going. Expand your circle to include several visionary types.

TWENTY-EIGHT: Be yourself without artifice. Hang out with folks who are likewise real.

Am I Watching Too Much TV?

It has been nearly 11 weeks since our household went into quarantine. We’ve gone out to grocery shop, pick up prescriptions, attend to the dog’s health, and go to the post office. Otherwise, we’ve had to content ourselves with activities and entertainment available in our Home Sweet Home.

For the majority of our confinement, I’ve been on a tear to complete household projects that had been lingering on the “to do” list forever. I had quite a lot of them, so it has kept me quite busy. But as I neared the end of that first wave of activity, I started watching more TV. A lot more. So, I decided to explore the subject to see if that was a healthy response to our circumstances.

According to a 2019 Nielsen study, Americans spend a great deal of time in front of screens. (See Note 1.) On average, we watch a smidge over four hours of television per day. We log another six hours on the Internet via our computers, notebooks, SmartPhones, and tablets. Add in another hour-and-three-quarters on the radio and forty-five minutes on game consoles and you’ve got quite a lot of media stimulation! But here’s the kicker: During a national crisis, we tend to up our media consumption by 40-60%. And we’re that much more attuned to social media to bridge the gap in missed face time.

Is all this screen time good for us?

Brain imagining scans show that excess screen time results in a deterioration in structural integrity. (See Note 2.) Gray matter atrophies in areas that govern executive functioning (planning, prioritizing, organizing, regulating impulses), reward pathways, and empathy. Compromised white matter affects internal connections between the right and left lobes as well as the higher (cognitive) and lower (emotional/survival) brain centers. As a result, we’re less adept at critical thinking, less sensitive to others, and more prone to addictive behavior.

Screen time has been associated with increased heart disease, stroke, and type 2 diabetes as a function of high blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess midsection body fat, and high cholesterol/triglycerides. (See Note 3.) Such risks proved to be dose-dependent and were not moderated substantially by outside physical activity. Moreover, watching TV two or more hours per day and snacking while viewing has been associated with increased risk of obesity. (See Note 4.) And, of course, if we’re working full time and watching a lot of TV, we may not make time for exercise.

But doesn’t TV relieve stress and help us chill out? Assuming the content imparts happy or peaceful images, that argument likely holds true for limited engagement. But protracted screen time may be associated with impaired emotional health. Decades of data collected by the General Social Survey demonstrates that happiness has been linked favorably with social activities, religious affiliation, and reading and negatively with television. (See Note 5.) Of course, correlation does not prove causation. But, it certainly warrants moderating one’s screen time to see if less results in a better mood.

So, what should I do?

First and foremost: Exercise! For optimal cardiovascular health, Dr. Dean Ornish recommends stretching at least 20 minutes per day plus 30 minutes of aerobic exercise. That regimen should be supplemented with weight training for healthy bones and firm musculature. Exercise is good for the body and good for the brain.

Second: Meditate. I’ve written several posts on the benefits of meditation. This practice gains increased importance during times of uncertainty and stress. We cannot change the past nor control the future. We can train ourselves to live in the moment with a calm, clear, centered outlook. That perspective will alleviate stress and place us in the best position to make good decisions.

Third: Read. The Pew Research Center found that readers are drawn to books for pleasure, personal enrichment, and the joy of escaping into an alternate reality. (See Note 6.) Researchers at Emory University also found that “reading stories not only strengthen language processing regions but also affect the individual through embodied semantics in sensorimotor regions.” (See Note 7.) In other words, reading gives the brain a nice workout!

Fourth: Just do something. Cook. Garden. Knock off projects on the “to do” list. Learn to play a musical instrument or perfect skills on ones you already know how to play. Learn a foreign language. Make some art. Write a poem. Play cards or board games with family members. Give your screens – and your eyes – some rest!

References:

Whole Food Plant Based Diet Boosts Immune Function

This week’s reporting on COVID-19 tells us that over 1.5 million US residents have tested positive for the disease and over 90,000 have been confirmed to have died from it. Such figures fail to count those who have not presented symptoms sufficient to warrant testing nor those whose deaths fell outside the net of COVID-19 tracking. The elderly and those who are immunocompromised represent a disproportionate percent of deaths. And there is no end in sight.

As a member of a household with above-average risk of severe infection, I’m paying close attention to actions we can take to help our bodies prepare for the “fight of their lives” should it come to it. A prime focus centers on our diet. Here’s why…

Scientists tell us that the COVID-19 virus enters the body principally through the nose and mouth; it uses lung tissue as its initial breeding ground. So, the first line of defense against the invader must be the mucosal membranes of the oral cavity and respiratory tracts. These membranes fight infection by secreting Type A antibodies (called secretary immunoglobulin A or SIgA). According to a study published by the University of Western Sydney, we can boost our SIgA response by consuming mushrooms. Healthy volunteers who added one cup of mushrooms to their daily diet showed 50% more Type A antibody secretion than the control group. [See Note 1.]

Should a virus break through mucosal membrane fortification, the body’s innate and adaptive immune responses go into action. Our innate immune response avails itself of natural killer cells that target pathogens, including viruses responsible for common respiratory infections. The adaptive immune response designs and produces antibodies that are custom-tailored to combat specific invaders. For proper functioning, the adaptive response must be sufficiently nimble to ramp up production during the window of opportunity in which the infection can be contained without going on overdrive and recklessly attacking its own vital tissues.

I used to think that the immune system was something that was genetically pre-determined. You either had a good one, or you didn’t. But it turns out that its functioning has a great deal to do with the quality of the microbiome in our intestinal tract. As discussed in a prior post, the microbiome plays an active role in digestion, vitamin and amino acid production, and metabolic regulation. With advancing technology, scientists can now trace the extent to which the microbiota and immune system work symbiotically to provide for the body’s response to microbial threat and maintenance of overall health. [See Note 2.] In short, a well-functioning microbiome provides the means for favorable gene expression and serves a crucial role in immune homeostasis. To that end, we must pay close attention to what we eat.

Here are a handful of evidence-based recommendations:

Eat 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. While immune function tends to decline in older adults, one study considered the possibility that older adults are simply getting too few servings of fruits and vegetables daily. It traced the efficacy of vaccine-induced antibody response in two groups of older adults: one ate 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables daily, and the other only 2. The former demonstrated a 2.5x boost in immune response versus the latter. [See Note 3.] Word to the wise: Eat a colorful assortment of produce to maximize phytonutrient diversity and make your meals interesting.

Make sure your diet includes plenty of fiber. Undigested complex carbohydrates elevate production of short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs) that serve as energy sources for the gut microbiota and intestinal epithelial cells. Epithelial cells serve as gatekeepers that permit absorption of healthy substances into the body and block entrance to harmful ones. To that end, load up on whole grains, legumes, fruits, and vegetables.

Add immune-boosting superstars to your diet, notably mushrooms, bitter greens, garlic, green tea, and kiwifruit.

Add a tablespoon of ground flax seeds to your daily regimen. They’re loaded with anti-inflammatory omega-3 fatty acids and aid in the absorption of fat-soluble vitamins like A, D and E, all of which are crucial for immune health.

Avoid highly processed and fried foods as they increase inflammation, deplete nutrients, and dampen immune response.

Finally, a study published through the CUNY School of Public Health explored the health advantages of a strict vegan diet over vegetarian or healthy omnivore alternatives. [See Note 4.] It found that the vegan microbiota showed reduced levels of resident microbes with pathogenic potential and a greater abundance of protective species. The vegan microbiota was also associated with reduced inflammation and lowered the risk of arteriosclerosis.

Notes:

Tidying Up

It’s that time of year again – Spring cleaning! And given that we’re under quarantine due to COVID-19, we have plenty of time to dive right in!

This year, I decided to avail myself of the one of the world’s leading experts on the subject, Marie Kondo. Her book – The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing – presents the basic principles behind her renowned KonMari Method.

She begins by admonishing readers to take this exercise seriously; half-hearted cleaning won’t get the job done thoroughly and completely. She also advocates a two-step process: discarding all non-essential items, and then figuring out where everything should go.

To get into the right mind set for discarding, it’s helpful to set a clear intention for the exercise. It goes beyond the simple, “I want a tidy home” or “I want less stuff.” We’re challenged to explore the reasons why tidiness and having less stuff matter. For me, it’s two-fold. On a practical level, I anticipate that my husband and I will downsize substantially in the coming years, and we can’t take all this stuff with us. But on a deeper level, I realize that the old stuff needs to be cleared out to create space for the next chapter of our lives to unfold.

The KonMari Method proceeds from the assumption that we choose what we should keep rather than what we should discard. In particular, we place each item in our hands and ask, “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it; if not, discard it. She tells us not to be distracted by thoughts of being wasteful. An item may still have a useful life or contain helpful information. But if it doesn’t engender a sense of enthusiasm when held in one’s hands, it can be thanked for its service and released to a new home. (She even suggests giving a celebratory send-off to things that will depart from the house!)

The KonMari Method processes items by category, not by room. She reasons that most of us spread items across multiple rooms. Unless and until you can see everything that you’ve got in one place, it’s hard to make rational decisions about what should stay and what should go. She always follows the same sequence when working with clients:

Clothes, in the following order: tops, bottoms, clothes that are hung, socks, underwear, bags, accessories, clothes for occasions, shoes
Books, in the following order: general, practical, visual, magazines
Papers, keeping only those currently in use, required for a limited time, and required indefinitely
Miscellaneous, in the following order: CDs/DVDs, skin care products, make-up, accessories, electronic equipment, household equipment, household supplies, kitchen goods, other
Mementos

The final category proves the most difficult and is saved for last. By the time people reach this stage, they have gained confidence in their ability to discern what truly matters in the here and now, and what has come to the end of its useful life. As she says:

“Truly precious memories will never vanish even if you discard the objects associated with them… No matter how wonderful things used to be, we cannot live in the past… [Moreover], by paring down to the volume that you can properly handle, you revitalize your relationship with your belongings.”

Having identified what you love and what you need, the next phase entails finding a spot for everything while making the habit of using all of it. (Dust is a sign of stagnant energy!) Clutter accumulates when it’s too much effort to put things away or it’s unclear where they belong. By taking the time to store things in a logical, convenient, consistent manner, it’s easy to maintain the system and forestall backsliding. She’s big on storing clothes vertically in drawers so you can see everything at a glance. She also creates compartments in drawers to create space for specific items, often availing herself of empty shoe boxes and other small containers.

The KonMari Method goes beyond establishing a tidy house. It’s an act of restoring balance among the people, their possessions, and the house they live in. It helps us focus on what we want and need in our lives and diminishes craving for worldly possessions. And, of course, it encourages us to devote our time and energy to that which lights us up.

Wife, Mother, Professional

During the past few weeks, millions of workers lost their jobs and applied for benefits. Economists from the University of Michigan expect unemployment rates to top 15% amid a sharply declining domestic gross national product. It’s hard to draw inspiration at times like these, but I’ve found some by reflecting on my mother’s life and how she soldiered on during trying times.

Mom spent her formative years in a country wracked by the Great Depression. Her parents earned a subsistence living as officers in The Salvation Army, and the family moved frequently to serve missions around the country. It was a difficult life, and the lack of constancy contributed to a lifelong tendency toward shyness.

Economic necessity compelled Mom to join the work force as soon as she graduated from high school. She was sharp as a tack, a superb communicator, and a phenom with typing and shorthand. Even so, she faced substantive competition at every turn from folks who had far more work experience.

Late on a Friday afternoon, she submitted a job application along with a couple dozen other women. She was told that they’d get back to her the following week and schedule an interview should her candidacy merit consideration. She decided not to wait. Come Monday morning, Mom showed up at the company’s front door ready to go to work. She got the job and never gave them pause to regret it.

She met the love of her life at Sutro’s Ice Skating Rink in San Francisco. They married in a private ceremony at the family home and settled into a one-bedroom apartment. They lived on my father’s salary to provide flexibility for Mom to stay home once the children arrived. They didn’t buy a car until they were able to pay for it with cash.

Mom turned her attention to full-time parenting while my older brother and I were pre-schoolers. Shortly after I entered kindergarten, she returned to work to help us maintain a home in the area’s premier school district. She also began taking courses at the local junior college to fulfill a life-long dream of attaining her baccalaureate degree.

In the late 1960s, Mom took the opportunity to become a full-time student at San Francisco State University. Then in her mid-forties, she found herself front-and-center amidst the counter-cultural revolution and anti-war protests that characterized the era. Despite a rough commute, student strikes, and on-campus violence, she stayed the course and graduated summa cum laude in 1970.

Mom spent the balance of her career as an eligibility worker with the County of San Mateo. In this capacity, she helped the less fortunate identify opportunities for governmental aide and provided fiscal oversight for selected programs within the county hospital system. Her coworkers and clientele had nothing but high praise for her dedication and efforts.

No matter how busy she was with school or work, Mom never missed a beat on the home front. She took excellent care of the house and its inhabitants, volunteered at school, church, and civic functions, helped with homework, and participated actively in our musical, athletic, and social activities. She was also Dad’s sounding board professionally and his partner in life, parenting, home renovation, and landscaping. One wonders how she got it all done!

Beyond her prodigious accomplishments, I stand in awe of the determination that got her through the tough times and kept her moving forward. She mustered the courage to do things that were decidedly uncomfortable for her. She took on unpleasant work assignments to be responsive to her family’s fiscal needs. She never backed away from a challenge and spent a lifetime learning new things and honing her skills. Moreover, she was committed to putting forth her best work no matter what was asked of her.

Having lived an exemplary life, Mom finished her earthly journey three months ago today. Her final years were difficult, but she did her best to put on a brave face and carry on. May she rest in peace.

The Artist’s Way

“Every blade of grass has its Angel that bends over it and whispers, ‘Grow, grow.’”
– The Talmud

Prevailing wisdom tells us that artists are born, not made. If you happened to win the genetic lottery and scored all those creativity chromosomes, you had the potential to become a great director, actor, painter, photographer, musician, writer, and such. Otherwise, you might as well get used to living an ordinary life. Right?

WRONG!

There’s an artist in all of us waiting for the opportunity to find expression. Our mission – should we decide to accept it – is to give that artist the time, energy, attention, and encouragement to flourish. Julia Cameron just might be the person to help us do that.

Julia is an award-winning poet, playwright, filmmaker, composer, and author who has written thirty books. Most noteworthy among her writings is The Artist’s Way, a collection of essays, inspirational quotes, and tools to help readers nurture their creative gifts.

According to Julia, the starting point for creative recovery entails commitment to three foundational practices:

Morning Pages, or three pages on standard sheets of paper written out long hand immediately upon awakening. These are streams-of-consciousness designed to empty out whatever’s in the brain. They’re written as fast as the hand can move across the page without thought or editing. In my practice, I find that they help me release stuff on which I’ve been ruminating as well as get me to pay attention to topics and issues that seem to crop up repeatedly.
A Daily Walk to help the brain experience a bounty of sensory experience and allow time to fill up on creative thoughts and impulses. Ideally, one takes a particularly long walk weekly in an extra special place.
A Weekly Artist Date to spend time with, and nurture, the artist within us. These dates do not have to be lavish or spendy, but they do need to be pursued without companionship. Just you and your artist!

The book proceeds with a 12-week process designed to kick-start each reader’s creative recovery. While there’s no substitute for reading the book and going through your own process, here are a few “a ha” moments that I had while taking this journey:

You cannot become a good artist unless you are willing to start out as a bad one. Give yourself time to take baby steps; support yourself emotionally along the way. Negative self-talk is the artist’s enemy.
Don’t let blocked artists and/or crazymakers disrupt the artist journey. Create a safe space and protect your budding artist from shame.
Take seriously the fact that the Universe has your back. Be willing to take the leap of faith and trust that it will be there for you.
In order to have self-expression, you must have a self to express. Morning pages introduce you to the “real you” versus the one put out for public display.
Be generous with downtime; the artist needs time to recharge. Say “YES” to yourself.
Serious art comes out of serious play.
Art is not about thinking something up; it’s about getting something down. Show up. Take small and simple creative steps daily.
Learn to survive your creative injuries by mourning the losses, learning from them, and moving on to the next act of creation.
Procrastination is not laziness, it’s fear – fear of a dry well, fear of tedium, fear of failure, fear of disappointing oneself or others. Counter that impulse by making the creative process fun.
Art needs time to incubate, to sprawl and be ungainly before settling into itself. Don’t get fixated on the finish line; enjoy the journey.
Creativity is a spiritual practice. It brings its own rewards.
We cannot chart our artistic process or try to control it. As author André Gide tells us: “One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.”

How I Learned to Love Cooking

In my last post, I talked about our recent decision to buy a share in Community Supported Agriculture. It’s something we’ve been wanting to do, and it’s a good year to do it. But, of course, when you get all that fresh produce, you’ve got to figure out something to do with it!

I wasn’t born a cook and was never much interested in it. I took up the mantle as a teenager to help my parents. They both worked full time, so I pitched in and got dinner on the table as they returned home from their days’ labors. But it was all pretty mundane stuff, and Mom did all the grocery shopping and planning.

My cooking and eating habits stayed pretty basic throughout college and grad school, and I became a frozen dinner, fast food, and dining out aficionado during my working years. I was really, really busy and didn’t want to spend much time in the kitchen. Now and again I’d build up a head of steam and prepare something amazing. But the day-to-day grind of meal preparation just didn’t interest me.

In summer 2015, I read Chris Guillebeau’s book entitled The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose To Your Life. In it, he reflects on his 10-year quest to visit every country in the world and encourages readers to identify adventures that will enrich their lives and satisfy inner longings. I took his advice and opted to prepare every recipe in the most challenging cookbook on my bookshelf.

In truth, I didn’t have inner longings around cooking. But I’d just seen the movie Julie & Julia and figured this quest would be something that I could manage on top of all my other responsibilities.

I’m proof positive that gourmet cooking takes a LOT of time in the kitchen. Mercifully, Spike provided able assistance and saved my proverbial bacon on numerous occasions. (Of course, he had a vested interest in food getting on the table!) But it turned out to be a lovely way to spend our evenings together. We spent more time talking and less time vegging out in the front of the TV.

I learned that cooking from scratch was far more flavorful than cooking with short-cuts. There is a material difference in taste between fresh herbs and dried herbs and between bottled garlic and fresh garlic – well worth the incremental food preparation time. Moreover, those complex recipes turned out to be mouth-wateringly flavorful, and it wasn’t as hard to prepare them as I feared they might be.

The quest has introduced Spike and me to several new ingredients – e.g., celery root, chanterelle mushrooms, spaghetti squash, calvados, gruyère cheese, to name a few. By stretching our boundaries, we became much more familiar with the inventory at our local grocers and in the farmer’s market. I’m awestruck by the bounty of food that we enjoy in the Pacific Northwest!

I’ve learned to suspend my tendencies toward perfectionism and beating myself up when things don’t go well. We had a few mishaps in the kitchen, and we sampled a few recipes that didn’t send us over the moon. Oh well! No big deal! I have confidence in my ability to improve on my technique and the discernment to know when it’s not worth the effort.

I’ve since worked my way through 8 other cookbooks and am closing in on 1,400 total new recipes sampled. Being a “test kitchen” takes the drudgery out of meal preparation and helps turn ordinary evenings into date nights. Spike still helps me in the kitchen, and we still enjoy a good chat while we’re cooking.

I’ll look forward to the day when our social distancing restrictions get lifted, and we can have friends over for dinner again!

Healthy Lifestyle

Ideas to Nourish the Body, Mind, and Spirit