Author Archives: Maren

Choral Singing is Good for You!

choral singing

I’ve been singing in choirs for years thanks to a fortunate twist of fate during college. I needed to satisfy an arts requirement during the general education portion of my journey, and a friend suggested I join the university choir to do so. By simply showing up for all the rehearsals and performances, I’d score an A in the class. Sold! I wound up loving it so much that I stayed on and joined the Chamber Choir, too.

Over the years, I’ve performed with a number of groups to the extent that my work schedule would allow it. I’ve sung with large ensembles that performed with the symphony as well as small auditioned groups that covered an eclectic mix of music. I’ve also sung with church choirs and taken turns at directing them when called upon to do so. I have absolutely loved making music with others. There are few things more joyful than situating myself amidst a sea of voices and lending my voice to the collective sound. And I’ve forged great friendships through choir; they’re my “peeps.” Our bond of music supersedes any differences we might have… something for which I am especially grateful in this polarizing time.

Beyond my personal witness, it turns out that singing in choirs is demonstrably good for you. According to a 2019 study entitled Singing for a Lifetime by Chorus America, 54 million Americans sing in choruses. Participants cited numerous benefits to singing in groups:

  • It helps them feel connected to others and encourages socialization in other parts of their lives.
  • They display above average optimism, mindfulness, and resilience.
  • Three-quarters of the participants report being better team players, and 61% report being better listeners as a function of choral singing.
  • Sixty percent of choral singers credit choir for making them more open, flexible, and adaptable in life.
  • Singers are much more involved in their communities than members of the public at large. Moreover, they tend to serve in leadership positions across a wide range of need.
  • Older choir members report better quality of life and better overall health than the general public. And being in a choir makes them feel less lonely.

The Centre for Performing Science took these findings a step further in its Sing With Us project. A pilot study with 193 participants demonstrated that a single choral rehearsal reduces stress hormones and increases cytokines, proteins responsible for mounting an immune response. Regular participation also decreased anxiety and improved self-efficacy and self-esteem.

Unfortunately, COVID-19 disrupted all of these wondrous benefits. The Skagit Valley Chorale in Washington State made the national news when one 61-person rehearsal resulted in 53 cases and 2 deaths. It’s not surprising. Singers expel a lot of aerosolized particles when producing sound. Masking quells transmission by degree, but it engenders a far less pleasant experience for the singer. Fortunately, with widespread availability of vaccines, reduced case rates, and sensible operational protocols (i.e., stay home if sick!), most choirs are back to business as usual.

COVID has made me a little bit anxious about singing in community, but I get so much out of being in a chorale that I’m willing to take the risk. Singing is simply too good for body, mind, and soul.

Politics and Healthcare

Several years ago, I wrote a post that shared the high points from Dan Buettner’s book The Blue Zones of Happiness. He explored six areas in which evidence-based design principals promote happier lives: community, workplace, social network, home, financial well-being, and inner life. Given our impending move from our home of 14+ years, I’ve paid particular attention to community design. His criteria includes:

Trustworthy civil servants (politicians, police); clean environment (water, air, land, noise); minimal urban sprawl; people-friendly streets for walking and cycling; high civic engagement and volunteerism; access to nature; affordable health and dental care; healthy food (farmer’s markets); healthy public policy to curtail smoking, drugs, obesity.

We have enjoyed every one of these benefits in our current city. In fact, community design remains a strong draw for staying right where we are, yet the lure of proximity to family looms large. So, we have been checking out our neighboring state to see how it fares against Buettner’s criteria. Healthcare is a top consideration given the number of specialists with whom we have relationship.

physiciansI looked into healthcare insurance options and checked out several medical practices that accept the insurance that we were likely to secure. When reading bios of the individual physicians, I noticed that a preponderance of them were not accepting new patients. I dug a little deeper to see what was going on there. Here’s what I learned:

  • According to a 2021 report, the state has 30% fewer physicians in general and 32% fewer primary care physicians than the national average. The mean age of practicing physicians was reported to be 52 years.1
  • Given the threat of criminal penalties and loss of licensure for failing to meet legislative guidelines for abortions, a recent survey indicated that 48% of maternal fetal medicine practitioners are considering moving out of state; 73% attribute that consideration to the state’s restrictive abortion laws. 2 As Dr. Lauren Miller was quoted as saying: “If I don’t act fast enough to save your life, prevent you from getting septic, I could be liable for civil cases … malpractice. But if I act too quickly and I’m not 100% certain that the patient is going to die from the complication she’s sustaining, then I could be guilty of a felony.”3
  • Physicians fear that the new legal environment will have a negative impact on maternal mortality. Yet, the state legislature recently dissolved a committee of doctors, social workers, coroners, and emergency personnel whose efforts were designed to eliminate preventable maternal deaths, as well as health problems that result from being pregnant or giving birth.4
  • Chief Medical Officer Frank Johnson worries that physician recruitment will take a hit as a function of laws that “put an undue burden and a risk on their profession and on their practice and on their ethical responsibility.”5
  • The editorial board of a prominent news outlet decried the poor treatment of physicians (including hostile acts by political activists) and warned that the pattern of behavior would come back to bite the citizenry when it needed lifesaving caregivers.6

I am clearly not at an age for which maternal-fetal care will be at issue. Yet I am aggrieved in behalf of the women who are and fear a spillover effect among emergency room personnel.

To be honest, I was gob smacked when stumbling upon these articles. I realize what a privilege it has been to have access to high-quality medical care, never once giving much thought to whether or not there were sufficient doctors to accommodate any needs we might have. Since COVID, we’ve had a little more trouble booking appointments, but not at a level that has caused me concern. But rolling into a state with high growth, disproportionately low levels of physicians per capita, and the risk of flight… that gets my attention.

My takeaway from this little exercise falls along the lines of “Look before you leap.” I was excited by the prospect of proximity to the extended family and had found some housing options that ticked all the boxes. I was ready to go! But it’s time to temper that enthusiasm to make sure that all of the factors that lead to a healthy and happy lifestyle shine through in the next chapter of our lives.

References:

1 https://familymedicine.uw.edu/chws/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2022/08/Idaho_Physicians_FR_July_2022.pdf
2 https://idahocapitalsun.com/2023/04/07/survey-shows-idahos-maternal-health-doctors-are-leaving-the-state-or-soon-will/
3 https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/13/us/idaho-abortion-doctors-drain/index.html
4 https://www.boisestatepublicradio.org/news/2023-07-07/idaho-maternal-mortality-review-committee-dissolve
5 https://www.ktvb.com/article/news/local/208/local-idaho-medical-staffing-levels-under-the-microscope-as-systems-see-need-for-more-medical-professionals/277-728f85c8-3fda-470e-893b-c7e685b23c7d
6 https://amp.idahostatesman.com/opinion/editorials/article277510963.html

The Search for Meaning

Earlier this year, Rabbi Harold Samuel Kushner passed away at the age of 88. While best known for his book on the problem of evil (When Bad Things Happen to Good People), I’ve decided to honor his memory with his 1986 book entitled When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough: The Search for a Life That Matters.

Kushner asserts that our souls thirst for relevancy. We aspire to lead a life such that the world will be better for our having passed through it. We want to know that we matter.

rodin thinkerThis soul quest is nothing new. Twenty-five hundred years ago, a wise teacher explored the topic in the Book of Ecclesiastes. He feared dying before figuring out how to live. He fully expected that nothing he ever did (or would ever do) would confer any lasting value. So, how should one spend one’s time?

He rejected uninterrupted fun as it seemed merely a way to escape the challenge of doing something meaningful with one’s life. While diverting, nothing of value remains when the fun is over.

Likewise, the pursuit of wealth and power – and the exercise of power – would prove foolhardy. Such a quest narrates life in terms of competition instead of cooperation. Moreover, the exercise of power can make relationships problematic, thereby interfering with our basic need for connection. As Kushner says, “When one commands and one obeys, there can be loyalty and gratitude but not love.” And who wants to live a life without genuine love?

Even piety can prove a challenging anchor on which to bind our lives. Should faith pander to our desire to be told what to do – especially when life gets complicated – then it fosters childlike submission and dependence. Kushner claims that authentic religion does not want obedient or perfect people. Rather, it gives us the courage to face life’s vexing questions, get ourselves together in the midst of them, and be at all times who we are at our best.

Instead of searching for the Great Answer or the Immortal Deed that will make life feel worthwhile, Kushner shares his simple wisdom:

“[Life] is not about writing great books, amassing great wealth, achieving great power. It is about loving and being loved.  It is about enjoying your food and sitting in the sun rather than rushing through lunch and hurrying back to the office. It is about savoring the beauty of moments that don’t last, the sunsets, the leaves turning color, the rare moments of true human communication. It is about savoring them rather than missing out on them because we are so busy and they will not hold still until we get around to them… There is no Answer, but there are answers: love and the joy of working, and the simple pleasures of food and fresh clothes, the little things that tend to get lost and trampled in the search for the Grand Solution to the Problem of Life and emerge, like the proverbial bluebird of happiness, only when we have stopped searching.”

The author of Ecclesiastes attained this wisdom after many disappointments and false starts. May his lasting legacy be the flash of insight that sets us on the right path long before we pass from this earth.

Votes for Women!

“I ask no favors for my sex. I surrender not our claim to equality. All I ask of our brethren is that they will take their feet from our necks and permit us to stand upright on that ground which God designed us to occupy.” – Sarah Grimkés, abolitionist, feminist, and writer (1792-1873)

One hundred and seventy-five years ago today, the long march toward women’s suffrage began. Three hundred men and women convened in Seneca Falls, New York to discuss the social, civil, and religious rights of women. There was a lot about which to talk.

In 1848, women were subject to the guardianship of their fathers (if unmarried) or husbands (if married). They could not own property, hold bank account, sign contracts, retain their scant wages, or receive an inheritance. They were denied educational opportunities. If they divorced their spouses, their husbands assumed full custody of the children irrespective of his quality of character or interest. Women could not serve on juries, hold public or ecclesial office, or vote. Nonetheless, they were liable for payment of taxes, leading to a sustained experience of “taxation without representation.”

Under Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s leadership, the assembly listened to addresses from passionate speakers, voted on resolutions, and crafted a Declaration of Sentiments patterned after the Declaration of Independence. While provisions related to voting rights were hotly debated, Stanton held firm on their inclusion, arguing that a woman’s participation in democratic elections would prove the linchpin to securing other reform. She prevailed, and 100 delegates affixed their signatures to the document.

From this initial spark, the smoldering embers of a movement began to dot the countryside until the outbreak of civil war in 1861. As most of the activists were staunch abolitionists, they focused their energies on securing freedom for slaves. They were bitterly disappointed at war’s end to see the passage of constitutional amendments granting suffrage to African American males yet continuing to deny that right for women.

Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton

In 1869, Stanton and Susan B. Anthony formed the all-female National Woman Suffrage Association to press for voting rights on a federal level. Lucy Stone founded the American Woman Suffrage Association which welcome male advocates as members and pressed for voting rights on a state-be-state basis. Both cultivated tireless efforts by the membership and leveraged print media, rallies, and lobbying to press for social reform. Yet, on the fiftieth anniversary of the Seneca Falls convention, very little progress could be reported. Only Wyoming (1869), Colorado (1893), Utah (1896), and Idaho (1896) had full female suffrage. Women’s rights improved modestly. By 1900, three-quarters of states let women own property, two-thirds let them retain their wages, and a few public universities admitted exceptional women.

After a lull during the first decade of the 20th century, Washington, California, Kansas, Arizona, and Oregon granted voting rights for women. A new generation of women came to the fore to take up the mantle of women’s suffrage. Anna Howard Shaw and Carrie Chapman Catt brought forth the union of the two major suffrage associations to form the National American Woman Suffrage Association (NAWSA) with the dual focus of federal and state activism. Harriot Stanton Blatch formed the Equality League of Self-Supporting Women and launched publicity campaigns to raise awareness and support. Alice Paul orchestrated a march on the U.S. capital days before Woodrow Wilson’s inauguration in 1913. It drew 5000-8000 participants and 100,000-300,000 spectators and some notably bad behavior (e.g., tripping, slapping, spitting, heckling, cussing) from men who opposed to movement. One month later, 531 women marched the route in reverse to deliver petitions to each member of Congress.

Wilson declared support for women’s suffrage in 1916 but did very little to support it. That same year, Paul formed the National Woman’s Party and organized daily pickets at the White House with signs that read: “How Long Must Woman Wait for Liberty?” and “Mr. President, What Will You Do for Woman Suffrage?” Over 1,000 protesters gathered at the White House for his second inauguration. They decried Wilson’s call for global democracy in the wake of World War I while refusing to support full democracy at home.

The administration’s response to these unfailingly peaceful protests was to place the agitators in jail, violating their right to free speech and assembly. Conditions in prison were deplorable, and the women were mistreated by the guards and superintendents. They suffered mightily physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not willing to conceded defeat, they organized hunger strikes and let their plight be known outside the jailhouse walls. Suffice it to say, the activists were a real nightmare for Woodrow Wilson.

On January 9, 1918, President Wilson called for the enactment of women’s suffrage during his State of the Union address to Congress. The House passed the constitutional amendment 274-136 shortly thereafter; the Senate stalled the vote until October and defeated the bill. Alice Paul organized another march that December and ramped up the protests. When the 66th Congress was sworn in on May 19, 1919, both chambers took up the vote for women’s suffrage and passed the legislation.

Because a constitutional amendment requires ratification by two-thirds of the states, the battleground moved from the federal to state houses. By Spring 1920, 35 states voted for the amendment and 8 against. Of the remaining holdouts, Tennessee seemed the most likely to secure the final affirmative vote. The Tennessee Senate supported the amendment with a 25 to 4 vote. The initial vote in the State House came in at a dead heat: 48 to 48. After intense debate, Harry Burn, a 24-year representative from East Tennessee, changed his vote to the affirmative citing his moral rectitude and the influence of his mother.

It took seventy-two years, 480 campaigns, 56 state referendums, 47 attempts to add suffrage to state constitutions, and 19 biannual campaigns to 19 Congresses to walked the distance between the 1948 Seneca Falls convention to the ratification of the 19th Amendment, granting women the right to vote. As Carrie Chapman Catt said:

“Young suffragettes who helped forge the last links of that chain were not born when it began. Old suffragettes who forged the first links were dead when it ended.”

Charlotte Woodward Pierce was the lone signatory of the original Declaration of Sentiment to witness the ratification of the 19th Amendment. She was 91 years old when first eligible to vote but was too sick to go to the polls. Though a devoted suffragette her entire life, she never was able to cast a vote.

We’ve made progress in the last 100 years with a gaggle of social, legislative, and economic reform. Pew Research reports that women earn 82 cents for every dollar earned by men, up from 65 cents in 1982. Four out of nine Supreme Court Justices are women. We have our first female Vice President, a record 128 serving in the House of Representatives (29% of the chamber’s total), and 25 serving in the Senate (25% of the chamber’s total). That’s good, but not great considering that slightly more than half of the U.S. population is female. But here’s the rub: Only 68% of women eligible to vote actually exercised that right in the last Presidential election. Moreover, only three-quarters of eligible women are registered to vote.

The country has issues that threaten our future security, livelihoods, and cohesion. Big money interests exercise a disproportionate influence in the affairs of State. But for democracy to work, it asks all of us to take our responsibilities as citizens seriously – to become informed participants in democracy and exercise our right to vote.

Please take time to separate the wheat from the chaff in media reports to discern the truth. Understand the issues put before you. Do some research on candidates for office – their character, skills, experience, and positions on policy matters. And then vote your conscience at every election.

If this post has piqued your interest, consider reading Votes for Women: American Suffragists and the Battle for the Ballot by Winifred Conkling.

Why I Believe in Early Childhood Education

enrichment activityWith the benefit of 20-20 hindsight, I see clearly that I hit the jackpot when born into my family of origin. My parents were intelligent, loving, conscientious caregivers whose life decisions were consistently in service of my brother’s and my best interests. We enjoyed stellar public education with engaged parents on the academic and social fronts. We profited from a gaggle of enrichment activities. And my folks did the hard work of molding us into independent, responsible, principled, resourceful, caring human beings.

I never thought much about the manifold blessings of my upbringing until I spent a year working with The Oregon Community Foundation on volunteerism in early childhood, courtesy of an encore fellowship. I did a lot of reading on the subject and was stunned by the extent to which one’s earliest developmental experiences set the course for future success.

In Mind in the Making, Ellen Galinsky identifies seven essential life skills for which each child ideally achieves mastery during the formative years:

  • Focus and Self-Control, which encompasses paying attention, adapting to priorities flexibly, holding information in one’s mind while working on it, avoiding distractions, and resisting temptation while working toward larger goals.
  • Perspective Taking, which enables the child discern how others think and feel, and understand what they might want and need.
  • Communicating, which entails the development of a broad vocabulary, finding the right words to express thought and feelings, and listening attentively to others.
  • Making Connections, which involves putting things into categories, noting the relationships between them, and recognizing that something can represent or stand for something else
  • Critical Thinking, which relies upon the ability to identify problems, specify desired outcomes, explore alternative solutions and their pros/cons, select and options, evaluate its efficacy, and regroup, as needed.
  • Taking on Challenges, which cultivates a growth mindset in which a child narrates abilities as skills that can be developed.
  • Self-Directed, Engaged Learning, which helps the child self-actualize through curiosity, exploration, and disciplined study.

These skills form the foundation for a child’s future across abroad range of metrics – e.g., scholastic achievement, economic independence, health outcomes, social prowess, community engagement, avoidance of juvenile justice, teen pregnancy, and substance abuse.

While the home environment accounts for the lion’s share of a young child’s readiness for learning when they enter kindergarten, early interventions in Pre-K learning environments can help course correct for disadvantaged children. Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child highlights the following 5 numbers when articulating the importance of early childhood development:

  • Brain architecture develops rapidly during the first few years of life. The 700 new neural connections formed every second build the foundation upon which later learning, behavior, and health depend.
  • By age 3, children born to college-age parents develop vocabularies 2-3x the size of those born to parents without a high school education. The latter enter school at a substantive disadvantage absent exposure to a language-rich environment.
  • Childhood adversity increases the probability of development delays by age 3. The more risk factors – e.g., poverty, caregiver mental illness, child maltreatment, single parent, substance abuse, low maternal education, crime – the greater the chance of delay.
  • Children who experience 7-8 adverse experiences in childhood triple their risk of heart disease in later life.
  • Every dollar invested in early learning environments for low-income children reaps a $4-$9 benefit to society by reducing special education, welfare, and crime, and increasing tax revenues from program participants.

Those of us who reaped the rewards of secure adult attachments, ample resources and opportunities, effective skill and knowledge development, and social capital (connections) owe a huge debt of gratitude to the caregivers and communities who supported us. We can express our thanksgiving by lending our support to public and private programs that provide affordable housing, economic support, and equitable access to early childhood education. It’s the least we can do.

The Big Purge Is Upon Us

I’ve written several posts on the merits of Spring cleaning in concert with annual efforts to rid our household of unneeded items. With a clear intention to downsize, I’m glad that we chipped away at the task over the years. This week, that rooster has come to roost.

We put our house on the market a week ago in hopes that we might attract interest prior to the coming school year. We’d spent a week-plus cleaning and decluttering before photo shoot and made sure the yard was in tip-top shape. I dreaded the placement of the lock box on the front door and the implied requirement to keep the house tidy consistently. But that’s the deal when selling a house.

The opening day for showings brought three couples to the house all of whom were interested in buying it. By the end of Day 2, we were under contract for sale! We’re slated to close escrow by month end and have up to 59 days thereafter to rent the place back. Now the real work begins.

downsizing decisionsMy sister-in-law preceded us in this daunting task by a few months. I am taking her stellar piece of advice: Do something every day to make progress toward moving.

While I have a high degree of confidence that this deal will go through, I’ve decided to focus on activities that are nearly invisible to a prospective buyer’s eye. Should the house have to go back up for sale, I want it to look appealing. As such, I’m tackling the closets, drawers, cabinets, and garage shelving first. First up: Going through all of our files. I’m on Day 3 of that exercise. Who knew we had so much stuff! In file-by-file and paper-by-paper, I’m figuring out what we need, what we can scan, what we can recycle, and what must be shredded to protect sensitive information. Almost finished!

A good friend has made prolific use of Internet-based marketplaces to sell things (or give them away). So, my next stop will be a coaching session to get me familiar with options for ridding the house of things I know we will not need. (Some negotiation may need to take place when it comes to garage stuff!) She has offered to help, and I’ll gladly let her keep the proceeds for the sake of paring down my “to do” list.

My husband and I need to take another tour through our closets to make sure we still want the clothes that we have and that they still fit. I see a Goodwill run in my future.

Upon close of escrow, we’ll start tackling the large pieces of furniture and the artwork. A few questions have popped into mind:

  • Do we really need to have a full bedroom set in the guest room given that the drawers are always empty?
  • Do we really need to have desks given that we’re both retired? Could we make do with a simple table, a computer stand, and a filing cabinet?
  • Do we really need a kitchen dinette and a dining room set?
  • Should we keep all the home exercise equipment or move into a place with easy access to a gym or workout room?
  • Do we need to keep all those D.I.Y. supplies given that we rarely D.I.Y. anymore and will likely have access to my nephew’s treasure trove?

Since we have a general idea of the type of place we’ll rent or buy next, we already know that a fair amount of what we currently own just won’t fit. (And we don’t really need it!) Some we’ll try and sell. Some we’ll donate to charity. And some may be of interest to the new homeowner. I’m not concerned about finding new homes. I just need to bake in plenty of time to attend to the mechanics of bidding them all goodbye.

For the most part, I’ve faced this downsizing challenge with aplomb. I’ve shed some tears all the while knowing that selling the house is the right thing to do. I’ve had “déjà vu all over again” as I recall doing this same activity with my parents over the years. It’s a bit jarring to come to terms with the fact that it’s my generation’s turn to pare back on the things we’ve owned and make changes to the lives we’ve led. On the plus side, I anticipate a sense of relief when I’m on the other side, having substantially lightened my load.

When Change Comes A-Calllin’

“Change is the only constant in life.” – Heraclitus, Greek philosopher

Everything changes. Geopolitics. Economies. Climate. Weather systems. Bodies. Emotions. Thoughts. Relationships. Jobs. Life circumstances. Housing. It’s a fact of life. We best get used to it.

The good news: Change is good for the brain. As noted in Cultivating a Healthy Brain at Any Age, purpose, learning, and discovery provide stimulus for the brain that increase the density of neurons, synapses, and dendrites. Brain networks that operate with greater efficiency, complexity, and reserves are less susceptible to disruption or decline. When we break out of habitual patterns, our brains step up to the challenge and adapt and grow in response.

The bad news: Change can be uncomfortable, sorrowful, stressful, unwelcome. We may face an uncertain future that calls into question our sense of stability and calm. We may worry about our ability to come out the other end whole. And we may lose a lot of sleep while in its grasp.

home for saleI find myself in the midst of a big change. The lovely home in which I’ve shared so many wonderful times with family and friends goes up for sale tomorrow. My husband and I have realized that it’s just too much house and too much yard. In addition, we face the realistic possibility of a relocation to another part of the country to be close to family as we enter the next chapter of our lives. My heart tightens as I gaze into my verdant backyard and watch the squirrels, bunnies, and birds pay their daily respects. I grieve the potential loss of a community in which I have very deep roots. And I dread all the work that it’ll take to downsize and pack all the while hoping that the things we will no longer need might be repurposed.

I’m leaning into my mindfulness training to cope with this turn of events. The practice of R.A.I.N. helps me bring an interested attention to what is going on with body and mind. In particular:

  • Recognize: I’m paying attention to grief as it arises rather than stuff it down.
  • Allow: I’m letting those sensations just be without judging them. It’s OK to feel sad. That’s part of the human experience. And it’s OK to just sit with that sadness. Resistance would only increase and prolong suffering.
  • Investigate: I’m bring an interested attention to the experience. I try to locate where I’m feeling grief in my body and see how it changes over time. I’m naming the other feelings that go along with grief – fear, anxiety, trepidation, anger. I’m exploring the assumptions that undergird the feelings as well as the stories I might be telling myself about it. (My worrying mind can spin quite a yarn about what the future holds!) I can say to myself: “Oh, those are just thoughts or feelings or sensations.”
  • Nurture: From the wisest and most compassionate part of myself, I can serve up love and support.

It’s a simple practice yet surprisingly powerful. It acknowledges and provides attentive care for the difficult circumstance without getting ensnared by it. As I sit with whatever arises, I notice that the sensations don’t last very long. They come and go like waves in the ocean. And with a little bit of distance, I can simply observe their movements.

Mindfulness also teaches me to live my life moment-to-moment – to simply take in the experience of life through the sensory doors. As such, I needn’t spend much time grasping for a former existence that has seen its glory days. I needn’t fixate on what is yet to come. I can experience this day, right now and meet new challenges and opportunities as they arise. I’ve been down this road before. I know that I can handle it.

I’m still not wild about change – even if it’s good for my brain. But I’ll confess to having a bit of excitement over what new adventures lie on the horizon.

Is Quitting OK?

“You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” – Kenny Rogers as The Gambler

Famed football coach Vince Lombardi once said: “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” He embodies that indominable spirit that would never give up no matter how rough the road ahead. Dr. Angela Duckworth affirmed his sensibilities in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Her research showed that grittier people experience more success, live longer, and enjoy healthier emotional lives.

Best-selling author and international chess champion Annie Duke takes a different tack in Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. She notes that while grit can help you stick to worthwhile enterprises, it can also keep you stuck in things that no longer merit your time, talents, and resources.

Let’s face it: We make decisions in the context of uncertainty. We don’t have all the facts up front. We can’t foresee the impact of good or bad luck. We can’t even predict how we’ll feel about things as we go along. Our goals and preferences may change. As such, quitting is an appropriate response when the expected value of further effort no longer passes the minimum threshold for sustained effort. It gives us the opportunity to invest in more profitable ventures and reach our goals faster.

Dukes acknowledges that most of us have trouble pulling the trigger on an initiative once we’ve gotten started. She identifies several impediments:

  • When our present circumstances seem OK, we don’t engage in the requisite mental time travel to see how the future might shape up. We stick with the status quo and just keep on keeping on. Then when things start to go south…
  • … we focus too much on what we’ve already invested (“sunk costs”) rather than keeping our eyes on future costs and benefits. And because we don’t want to close accounts in losses, we may double- or triple-down on our investments in the attempt to create some kind of win. Unfortunately, the greater the sunk cost, the harder it is for us to quit.
  • It’s hard to quit when we feel a sense of ownership over the things, beliefs, and decisions that got us into the game. This “endowment effect” is particularly strong if we’ve built something from the ground up.
  • There’s no feedback system to validate the wisdom of quitting. We can’t create alternate realities in which different choices play out. It makes us anxious to quit for fear that we might live to regret that decision.
  • We like to cultivate a positive self-narrative. In our minds, quitting says we were wrong simply failed in execution. We may even tell ourselves that we just didn’t have what it takes to see it through.

These impediment plague all of us – even cognitive scientists whose research provides these insights. Duke offers these strategies for helping avoid the stayed-in-the-game-too-long pitfalls:

  • Be really picky about the things to which you lend your commitment. Persevere only in things that matter, that bring you happiness, and that move you toward your goals. Set aside everything else to free up resources to pursue what matters. Stop sticking to things that weigh you down!
  • Create a pre-commitment contract – states (measurable conditions or accomplishments) and dates (time frames for achievement) – that identifies requirements for staying the course. Then think about the conditions under which you would quit – a.k.a., “kill criteria.” Have an “unless clause” for every goal.
  • Tackle to hardest part of the project first. The sooner you identify obstacles that aren’t worth your while (or even possible) to overcome, the sooner you can switch to something better.
  • Have a Plan B (and perhaps C, D, and E) in your hip pocket to enable you to pivot quickly should conditions warrant a change. Hold fast to an exploratory mindset.
  • Find someone who cares deeply about you and doesn’t have a problem telling you the cold, hard truth when the need arises. Take the blinders off and listen to what they say.
  • Create a diversified portfolio of opportunities so that you aren’t overinvested in any one thing.
  • Celebrate progress.
  • Give yourself partial credit if you choose to stop something you started.

Bottom line: Life is too short to squander it on losing or unrewarding bets. Take it from a highly successful poker player:

“Contrary to popular belief, winners quit a lot. That’s how they win.”

Don’t Waste Time Fussing Over Inconsequential Decisions

choicesMy last post provided an overview of Annie Duke’s decision-making process when contemplating an important move in her life – e.g., moving to a new city, purchasing a home or car, taking a new job, hiring an employee, etc. She assesses preferences, payoffs, and probabilities and documents her assumptions, facts, and analyses for post-decision assessment. She also balances her inside view of the world with an outside perspective. It takes time and effort, but it yields a more accurate picture of the road ahead with all its challenges and obstacles and increases the likelihood that she’ll realize a good result.

While she argues for an appropriate investment in time for big decisions, Duke is quick to point out that we often squander valuable time on inconsequential ones. For example:

  • A study commissioned by Seated (a restaurant mobile app) reported that American couples spend two-and-a-half hours a week negotiating what type of meal to eat.
  • The Nielsen Total Audience Report suggests that we spend 45 hours per year choosing our live or streaming content on TV.
  • Retailer Marks & Spencer claims that men take 13 minutes daily and women 17 minutes daily figuring out what to wear.

Those three activities combined yield a total of 254 to 278 hours of analysis paralysis, or roughly 16 to 17 days’ worth of waking hours. Is that really necessary?

Duke’s litmus test for investing her time rests in figuring out the penalty for a lower quality decision. If low, then make the decision quickly. If high, slow down. Alternatively, consider the impact of a decision in a week? A month? A year? If it won’t matter all that much, then put your foot on the accelerator.

Decisions that repeat offer little reason to go slow. Order a meal (or hedge you bets and order two for sharing with a friend). Watch a show and switch if it doesn’t prove engaging. Choose an outfit. The opportunity to make a different choice will present itself forthwith. In the meantime, you save time and gain additional insights on preferences to inform future choices.

If the available options present comparably attractive outcomes, go fast. These circumstances typically carry an inner voice that says: “I can’t decide because they’re all good choices.” That means the decision is easy. You’ll enjoy a favorable outcome no matter what.

Another trick to speed decision making involves asking yourself: “If this option were my only choice, would I be happy with it?” Then separate the options that you’d find satisfactory from the ones that fall short of joy and choose one of the foregoing.

Duke characterizes some choices as “Two-Way Door Decisions” – i.e., ones in which it’s as easy to enter the decision as it is to exit. For such choices, go fast and gain experience. If it’s a “One-Way Door Decision” – i.e., a high impact choice with a high cost to quit – then see if there are low impact decisions you could make ahead of time to inform the looming high impact choice. In tandem, seek additional information that might illumine a preferred path.

Finally, you can speed decision processes by making “category decisions” that dictate what you will and won’t do – e.g., foods you’ll eat, investments you’ll make. Don’t relitigate items for which you’ve already made considered choices.

How to Make Better Decisions

Take a minute and think about a good decision you made in the past year. Consider the factors that weighed into your decision and the process you used to make it. Now think about a bad decision and the factors and process that went into making it. Now ask yourself: To what extent did the outcome of your decision effect your assessment of the process that led to it?

In How to Decide: Simple Tools for Making Better Choices, Annie Duke argues that most of us are not very disciplined in making decisions and judge our efficacy based on results. A good outcome leads us to believe that we made a good decision; a bad outcome leads us to believe that we made a bad one. This bias causes us to repeat a bad decision process if the result was favorable and avoid a good decision process if the result proved disappointing.

We also fall prey to hindsight bias when the outcome proved less than stellar. Our inner critic (and perhaps friends and family) say: “How could you not have known that this decision would turn out so badly?” We may even lead ourselves to believe that we’d had a key insight but chose to ignore it. The bad outcome inevitably casts a shadow over what we actually knew (or could have known) at the time a choice was made. It makes it hard to see that some information was available before the decision and some revealed later.

Another form of clouded memory might be characterized as the inevitability bias. After the fact, we take a chain saw to our decision tree, leaving the lone branch associated with the outcome that came to pass. We forget about all the other ways that our decision might have panned out.

Finally, luck intercedes between decision and outcome. We tend to ignore good luck when the outcome is favorable and overplay bad luck when the outcome is bad. Just look at the words we use to characterize the influence of luck:

Role of Luck

Albert Einstein famously said “the only source of knowledge is experience.” Annie Duke reminds us that we need clarity when reflecting on it to gain wisdom.

So, how would Annie Duke guide our decision process?

For consequential decisions, she recommends a 6-step process with a healthy chuck of recordkeeping for post-outcome assessment:

  1. Identify the reasonable set of possible outcomes for a given choice under consideration.
  2. Identify the payoff(s) associated with each outcome in terms of progress toward a goal, monetary impact, time, self-esteem, quality of life, relationships, or other vital metrics. Rank order them by preference based on what you’d like or wouldn’t like given your values. Be attentive to the size of the payoff.
  3. Estimate the likelihood of each outcome unfolding. You may be tempted to use common language to express probabilities – e.g., almost certain, probable, likely, good chance, possible, toss-up, unlikely, improbable, doubtful, nearly impossible. If so, make sure you’ve defined what these terms means quantitatively, even if it’s just a range of values. This exercise is crucial if you are working with others as their interpretations may differ widely from yours!
  4. Assess the relatively likelihood of outcomes based on what you like and don’t like for the option under consideration. Does the upside outweigh the risks?
  5. Repeat steps 1 through 4 for other options under consideration.
  6. Compare the options to one another.

With its focus on preferences, payoffs, and probabilities, this discipline encourages decision makers to think carefully about the range of options and all the things that might go right or wrong on the journey from choice to outcome. It also shines a spotlight on information – what you know, what you might be able to find out, and what will likely remain uncertain. It may challenge you to think: Would I be shocked if things turned out a far cry from what I might expect? If so, why might I be wrong in my assumption set? What information might I discover that would change my perspective? She admonishes us to be on the look-out for corrective information, and be open-minded to it.

Even with the best of intentions, we’re subject to bias when in the midst of our decision-making process. For instance:

  • Our confirmation bias leads us to filter in information that affirms our beliefs and filter out that which challenges them.
  • Overconfidence makes us prone to accepting what we believe without challenging it.
  • Availability bias causes us to give greater weight to our direct experience than the statistically significant evidence from a broad cross-section of individuals.
  • Recency bias makes us believe that our recent experience is likely to recur.
  • The illusion of control causes us to give insufficient weight to external factors and luck in our probability calculus.

In short, we get trapped inside our own views and neglect the wealth of insights made possible by an external perspective. The outside perspective sees the scales more clearly. It can identify blind spots, information gaps, wishful thinking, and the like, and illumine the path to improvement. We lend balance to our inside view by:

  • Educating ourselves on what is true for most people when facing this situation. Find survey data and get success rates for various endeavors. That data informs the assessment of the difficulty and opens our eyes to potential obstacles.
  • Actively seeking out what others know without contaminating their assessments with our analyses and opinions. Make sure that they have a reasonable basis from which to offer information or render opinions. Go outside the echo chamber and listen to those with opposing views.

A final suggestion for improving decision quality would be to conduct a pre-mortem. imagine the day after a decision has come to fruition with an outcome that didn’t measure up. List up to 5 reasons why things failed. Then consider what you might be able to do now to remove obstacles, course correct midstream, or hedge bets to lessen the impact of an unhappy ending. Contemplating bad outcomes helps inoculate from an adverse reaction that could trigger an emotional (bad) decision. On the flip side, imagine a great outcome and list up to 5 things that contributed to success. That assessment emphasizes critical success factors necessary to reach the desired end game.