It has been a year since we sold our home and placed ourselves in a holding pattern until we figured out what we wanted to do. At the time, we knew that our humble abode was too much house and too much yard for our stage of life. The market and neighborhood favored sale, and we were rewarded with three offers within 24 hours of listing. For icing on the cake, we were delighted with the folks who purchased our home and have confidence that they will enjoy it as much as we did.

We got lucky on the rental property. It readily accommodates our downsized stuff. It’s a short walking distance to a shopping center, a wonderful gym, and lovely nature trails. Our landlord is a gem, and we’ve forged a nice connection with our next-door neighbor. Most of the time, it’s quiet.

While I’ll confess to hankering for a place to call our own, I’m grateful for having made the decision to have this year in limbo.

We needed to rest and recharge. The months leading up to our home sale were angsty as we contemplated making a major life change. Downsizing was effortful and a bit sorrowful. I suspect there was some grieving that went along with our change in circumstances. And, of course, it was effortful to pack, empty of the house, and move everything to a new location. (We U-Hauled all the boxes and manageable furnishings!) Amidst the turmoil, we realized that neither of us had the wherewithal to make another major decision. We needed to just chill out.

We needed to reflect on how we wanted to live during the next phase of our lives. Let’s face it. Once you reach a certain age, having a vibrant social life gets harder. And since socialization looms large in sustaining cognitive function, lifestyle considerations become as critical as housing decisions. I’ve had my fingers in a lot of pies, but several organizational affiliations have attenuated recently. My introverted husband could use a more hospitable setting especially given that he no longer drives. So, we’re taking a serious look at 55+ communities as well as those with high walkability and access to senior-friendly activities.

We needed to figure out where we wanted to live. We have lots of friends in this area but no extended family. Having gone through end-of-life management with both parents, I understand the value of having relatives nearby. Our exploration to date has included several visits to Washington and Idaho; we’re planning a trip to Colorado. Because an out-of-state move would prove daunting, we really needed to consider whether we had the stomach for it. We’ve done two cross-country moves in or married life. I’ve got the mechanics of relocation down and a pretty good idea of how I’d get enmeshed in community. Healthcare presents challenges given the number of doctors on our team and the difficulty getting appointments with them. Some practices are so busy that they aren’t taking new patients! That’s an extra layer of research for the planning phase. Mercifully, we’re both in a stable situation at the moment, so we could afford a few months of lag time getting established with new physicians.

We needed to get our financial house in order. I’ve always paid close attention to the family income, expenses, and balance sheet. We’ve lived within our means and established a decent nest egg on which to retire. That being said, end of life brings a new set of expenses and risks, and some senior housing options are really, really expensive. I’ve added some sophistication to my financial planning model, and we’ve worked with a financial advisor to adjust our investment portfolio to suit future needs. We can base our housing decision on a clear understanding of what we can and can’t afford.

I’d still like to be settled and moving forward into the next phase of our lives, but I’m glad we didn’t rush into a decision that we might have regretted. I’ve recognized that we’re not simply transitioning from a bigger-house-bigger-yard to a smaller-house-smaller-yard. We’re setting ourselves up for healthy aging in an environment that supports changing needs as they arise. And that takes a little time and planning.